Dear friends
This blog is being created so that you, my friends current and yet to be met, can journey with me as I make a big decision that will determine the direction of the rest of my life. Very simply, do I stay or do I go? Before I elaborate I want to set up a few guidelines. I ask that you pray with me about this decision. I welcome any questions you may have that I may not have considered, so asking me things like "How will you keep up with your prescriptions if you leave?" would be helpful to me in my discernment. I may not always print an answer to your questions but know that they go into the "discernment pool".
What I ask that you not do is tell me what you think I should do. I have learned from past experience that when someone gives me direct advice and then I make a different choice it makes the adviser angry. So ask me questions that will help my discernment but do your best to control yourself when you want to tell me which choice I should make. I hope that's fair.
So let's start at the beginning. I celebrated my 60th birthday in June and had a huge amazing birthday party on the same day that my granddaughter graduated from high school. After 41 years of raising children I am now free of that responsibility and I decided that it is my turn now. I may not be as young as I once was but I still have dreams (if I ever stop dreaming just do me a favor and put me out of my misery.) My West African Drumming teacher, Michael, asked me "What is different about turning 60 than when you turned 50?"
My answer was "I now realize I don't have forever to do the things that I want to to with my life". He asked me what those things are and I said that mostly, I want to travel. There are places I have always wanted to see and have not yet visited.
He said "What's stopping you?"
Wow! Um Uh! My first thought was "Money". I don't have the money to travel. And at the moment I don't have a car that will take me very far. Then I realized that I have the money, what is stopping me is the 15 acre farm I live on, because all of my money and energy and time go into the farm.
That led me to the big question. How do I want to spend the rest of my life? Do I want to spend it working all day every day coontinuing to improve and maintain this home or do I want to have fun? It sort of seems like a no brainer doesn't it?
Oh that it were so simple. But nothing ever is. I would sell the farm only if I can travel. That would be the only goal. That would mean selling it for enough money to pay off my mortgage ($46,000) and my student loans ($47,000), buy a relatively new pick up truck (Four wheel drive, extended cab ($10,000), and leave enough in the bank to move into an apartment or put a down payment on a condo when/if I get tired of traveling. Yes, my farm is worth that much. Then I would have my Social Security income to travel on. Oh, I almost forgot, a good lap top.
That would mean being "Houseless" for a while and living in the truck and traveling around the U.S.
It seems as though it would be nice to have my only monthly bills be for car insurance and cell phone.
So what would be the plan? First, I have always wanted to visit all of the National Parks. I have been to quite a few of them but would start over if I went on this pilgrimage. Some of the remote Alaska parks might provide a challenge and I have a feeling I wouldn't be visiting American Samoa any time soon (yes we have a National Park there) .
The really good part is, if I decide to hit the road, my daughter, Jeneva, wants to go along. She would design her Masters project around our visits to the parks so that she can go with me and finish her degree ast the same time. Her major is Natural Resource Management so such a trip would be right on target.
So that is the decision I have to make. Do I stay or do I go?
More Later
Lyn
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Aunt Lyn, you have my support, love and respect as you consider your options. Having done some questing and soul searching myself, I feel a great deal of empathy invoked by your first post. Not much else to say now, I just wanted to acknowledge your letter. Allison
ReplyDeleteI seem to be moving to Scotland in the near future, but I still want to come with you for a while, even if I'm not working on a thesis project.
ReplyDeleteLyn, you know as my friend that I could have written precisely the same words as you do in your introduction. Except that I've a 1/2 acre "farm", as opposed to your 15 acres. I look forward to reading what others have to say.
ReplyDeleteI am 70 now, and beginning to have some health issues. I am, as you know, extremely healthy, except for my body! And I've that same sense of urgency that says "not or never!" Is it simply COURAGE that is lacking in both of us?
I, too want to see the parks, at least those I've both seen and not seen on this side of the Rockies.
My questions:
Have you actually visited with a realtor and asked the relevant questions?
Are you sure you want Angela to be with you?
Would your nesting instinct make it difficult for you to enjoy the road trip?
How long do you imagine yourself traveling? (I'd like to take a year, but am a strong nester and so know I'd be looking all the way for my next home, which would be alright. I think.)
Based on what your realtor says, can you afford the gas, the amazingly high cost of staying in a "campground" (or would you seek to camp in the wilds?)?
Have you considered renting your place while you are away, so to give yourself more time for the final decision?
Love, Blessings -
Sarah
I tried this earlier, Lyn, but it wouldn's "Post" for me. I, too, thought divestiture (!) would be difficult, but with each huge (and now smaller) bag I've carried out of the house I've felt emancipated. I realized that I felt in bondage to my "stuff", and realized that there was too much I'd not used in years but was still hanging on to. For me, it's been a good feeling. But then, I gave most of the family things to my children when I left Colorado 15 years ago.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I wrote this morning: "A small NW city, not on a noisy, polluting interstate highway, where I would not need a car. Amtrak must be nearby, and it definitely needs to have a warmer, drier climate than here on the tip of the Peninsula!"
Hi Lyn,
ReplyDeleteSeems we both are starting an amazing adventure, for good for ill, in the end all we have are our experiences to share. Your free spirit and love of new and different have always provided an important counterbalance to the weights that keep us in our places, safe and comfortable.
As for the need for "stuff", I find myself constantly evaluating what I would put in my single USMC seabag, were I to purge myself of all that weight. I wonder if, when push came to shove, I could abandon all the fun, interesting, and meaningful objects I have collected and just live.
Even going overseas in a month I find myself wondering about what stuff I should bring, what I should leave, and what will be most important to me when I am seperated from the people who fill that space now.
You also have my love and support, and perhaps, in a ceratin way, your adventure balances the family yet again, as we move off to different extremes to find the same things.
Ben