Since I have decided to sell, I am moving my blogging to facebook notes. Those of you who want to keep up with my thoughts, feelings, and struggles as I go through this process if you are not already one of my facebook friends I will gladly accept you as such. Thanks for the input and prayers as I went through this discernment. See you on Facebook
Lyn
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
I've Made a Decision
Well folks, here's what I ahve decided to do. I am going to take the advice of my odl friend June (old as in for a long time, not that she's old. Anyway - She said I should put the house up for sale and not come down from the price I want. If it sells I go. If not I stay. So that's what I'm going to do.
I spent most of January listing all of my books on a spread sheet on my new laptop and packing the books in boxes. I am going to take them to Portland so that Joey can choose the ones she wants and then she and I will take the rest of them to Powell's book store to sell them. It was a good exercise that helped me to see if I am going to have huge emotional attachments to things and not be able to give it all up. Actually, having them stacked here in boxes has given me a great feeling of relief, not being burdened by ownership. Whether the house sells or not i am determined to get rid of a lot of stuff. Already the house feels more spacious and I feel lighter
Of course there are some things I want to keep so i will ahve to figure out the best way to store things but I want that to be minimal.
So there you have it. I will try to add some thoughts as the process goes along. Please pray for the best outcome for all concerned.
Thanks
Lyn
I spent most of January listing all of my books on a spread sheet on my new laptop and packing the books in boxes. I am going to take them to Portland so that Joey can choose the ones she wants and then she and I will take the rest of them to Powell's book store to sell them. It was a good exercise that helped me to see if I am going to have huge emotional attachments to things and not be able to give it all up. Actually, having them stacked here in boxes has given me a great feeling of relief, not being burdened by ownership. Whether the house sells or not i am determined to get rid of a lot of stuff. Already the house feels more spacious and I feel lighter
Of course there are some things I want to keep so i will ahve to figure out the best way to store things but I want that to be minimal.
So there you have it. I will try to add some thoughts as the process goes along. Please pray for the best outcome for all concerned.
Thanks
Lyn
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Gardens
I've been thinking about my garden and greenhouses and whether I would miss them. I started them in the first place because I like gardening and was very rewarded by watching stuff grow. Then I got caught up in liking the fact that I was producing much of my own food and that I knew it was organically grown. And I liked giving it away.
But now I'm thinking about when Angela moves out, which she will eventually, and how I have a freezer full of food from the garden that would take me forever to eat by myself. Do I want to put all that energy into that activity from now on. I could just do it to give it away to friends and the food bank. Or I could plant less or none at all and just live here without doing the gardens. I think that would be hard for me to do and it seems like a waste of all the beds I've built. So the train is taking my thoughts to the idea that maybe it's time for someone younger with a family to feed to have the gardens.
I guess I need to walk around in the garden and see how I really feel.
But now I'm thinking about when Angela moves out, which she will eventually, and how I have a freezer full of food from the garden that would take me forever to eat by myself. Do I want to put all that energy into that activity from now on. I could just do it to give it away to friends and the food bank. Or I could plant less or none at all and just live here without doing the gardens. I think that would be hard for me to do and it seems like a waste of all the beds I've built. So the train is taking my thoughts to the idea that maybe it's time for someone younger with a family to feed to have the gardens.
I guess I need to walk around in the garden and see how I really feel.
Friday, January 8, 2010
An old friend
Well, here we are in 2010. I sat here on New year 's Eve. Everyone else in the house was asleep so I rang in the new year with all the folks in Times Square and asked myself if I am really ready to give this up. Then I got a letter from a dear friend. She is going through a very similar discernment so I have a feeling we will be communicating a lot. The biggest difference between her and me is that she has spent the last 17 years alone. No spouse. No children/grandchildren living in her home. (she has such but they live kind of all over the place). I have never been alone. I have always had someone living with me and have always been responsible for them in some way. I have always been someone's wife, mother, grandmother. So I'm going to go all 60's on you now and say that I think I need to go away to find myself. I barely know who I am and I don't know who I can be without someone to take care of.
Several people have said that seeing the National Parks has been a dream for them as well. For me, I see this trip as primarily a solitary one, but I also imagine some friends joining up with me from time to time.
I have done the math and if I go I can't have a rent or house payment anywhere or there won't be enough money to travel. Even without the financial burden of any kind of home I will be on the edge financially, but really, when haven't I been?
My soul is hungry for something, and taking off and being as free as it is possible to be sings to that hunger in a sweet, sweet way.
Peace
Lyn
Several people have said that seeing the National Parks has been a dream for them as well. For me, I see this trip as primarily a solitary one, but I also imagine some friends joining up with me from time to time.
I have done the math and if I go I can't have a rent or house payment anywhere or there won't be enough money to travel. Even without the financial burden of any kind of home I will be on the edge financially, but really, when haven't I been?
My soul is hungry for something, and taking off and being as free as it is possible to be sings to that hunger in a sweet, sweet way.
Peace
Lyn
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Time to catch up
Hello readers,
Sorry for taking so long to add to this blog. I could make a million excuses but the only real explanation is that I made other choices for awhile. Thanksgiving and Christmas took a lot of time and energy. But - I'm back and I intend to blog at least once a week.
I do have two internet addicts at my house now which has made getting time on my own computer hard to come by. But I now have a remedy for that. Jeneva gave me a laptop for Christmas. (Yay). So now I can pack up my trusty laptop (I'll have to give her a name.) and go off to a hot spot and not only have the means to blog but also not have to deal with dial-up, which is all I have available at home. Jeneva has taken to sitting in Motel parking lots to use hers. I hope the authorities don't get suspicious of this strange women sitting in parking lots! Now there may be two of us.
So, time to catch up. The trip from Fargo to San Francisco with Jeneva was amazing. Weather was perfect, our hosts in San Fran were wonderful. I met 4 of Jeneva's internet friends and we stopped to see one of her Jr. High classmates and friends who now lives in Eugene, OR. It certainly reinforced for me my love for being on the road and having new experiences.
It also confirmed what I already suspected, that my days of marathon (14 hours or more non-stop) driving are over. But if I decide to hit the road that is not the kind of travel I have in mind. I intend not to miss the good stuff along the way.
Some friends have indicated that they think I have already decided to leave, and some seem to think I have already left. Not the case. This is a big decision and not one I will make lightly or quickly. And there is the farm to sell which will take time. I do go back and forth. Here it is the Christmas season and I look around at my beautiful house all decorated and sparkly and I find myself asking if I really want to give this up. While practicality tells me that I really can't afford to stay here, the philosophy by which I live my life ,"there is always a way", inserts itself and tells me that I can find solutions if I am willing to look for them. So it goes back to an emotional decision, which do I want more, to stay or to go?
Another consideration that has entered the pool has to do with my current part time employment. In September the priest at the church in which we rent space for the preschool indicted that this would be our last year there. As there is not likely a place for the school at the rent we pay now, that would be the end of the school. It seems the main concern of the church was that we might compromise their non-profit status by having a "business" in the church. We can overcome this by becoming a non-profit business. (which believe me we are!). Melody, the owner of the school, is trying to find out if that is really the reason for kicking us out. If so, she and her husband are willing to do the paperwork to become "Not for profit". The other part of that equation is that she will only continue the school if I continue with her. She simply does not have another teacher on board and I am the one who has developed the curriculum for the school. As I consider this it occurs to me that if I put the house up for sale in the spring I will not be ready to leave by the beginning of summer. So I could set summer 2011 as the time to actually leave and if the the farm sells I can rent an apartment in Medical Lake for the interim. That would give Melody one more year with the school and an opportunity to find another teacher. So that is also in the discernment pot at this time.
I do need to decide soon whether to stay at least one more year as she will not pursue keeping the school if I don't stay. It is not a bad idea to have another year to clear out this place, boy do I have a lot of stuff! Where did it all come from? I continue to weed out the extraneous junk but there is still too much.
So that's where I am now. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.
Merry Christmas and have a great 2010!
Sorry for taking so long to add to this blog. I could make a million excuses but the only real explanation is that I made other choices for awhile. Thanksgiving and Christmas took a lot of time and energy. But - I'm back and I intend to blog at least once a week.
I do have two internet addicts at my house now which has made getting time on my own computer hard to come by. But I now have a remedy for that. Jeneva gave me a laptop for Christmas. (Yay). So now I can pack up my trusty laptop (I'll have to give her a name.) and go off to a hot spot and not only have the means to blog but also not have to deal with dial-up, which is all I have available at home. Jeneva has taken to sitting in Motel parking lots to use hers. I hope the authorities don't get suspicious of this strange women sitting in parking lots! Now there may be two of us.
So, time to catch up. The trip from Fargo to San Francisco with Jeneva was amazing. Weather was perfect, our hosts in San Fran were wonderful. I met 4 of Jeneva's internet friends and we stopped to see one of her Jr. High classmates and friends who now lives in Eugene, OR. It certainly reinforced for me my love for being on the road and having new experiences.
It also confirmed what I already suspected, that my days of marathon (14 hours or more non-stop) driving are over. But if I decide to hit the road that is not the kind of travel I have in mind. I intend not to miss the good stuff along the way.
Some friends have indicated that they think I have already decided to leave, and some seem to think I have already left. Not the case. This is a big decision and not one I will make lightly or quickly. And there is the farm to sell which will take time. I do go back and forth. Here it is the Christmas season and I look around at my beautiful house all decorated and sparkly and I find myself asking if I really want to give this up. While practicality tells me that I really can't afford to stay here, the philosophy by which I live my life ,"there is always a way", inserts itself and tells me that I can find solutions if I am willing to look for them. So it goes back to an emotional decision, which do I want more, to stay or to go?
Another consideration that has entered the pool has to do with my current part time employment. In September the priest at the church in which we rent space for the preschool indicted that this would be our last year there. As there is not likely a place for the school at the rent we pay now, that would be the end of the school. It seems the main concern of the church was that we might compromise their non-profit status by having a "business" in the church. We can overcome this by becoming a non-profit business. (which believe me we are!). Melody, the owner of the school, is trying to find out if that is really the reason for kicking us out. If so, she and her husband are willing to do the paperwork to become "Not for profit". The other part of that equation is that she will only continue the school if I continue with her. She simply does not have another teacher on board and I am the one who has developed the curriculum for the school. As I consider this it occurs to me that if I put the house up for sale in the spring I will not be ready to leave by the beginning of summer. So I could set summer 2011 as the time to actually leave and if the the farm sells I can rent an apartment in Medical Lake for the interim. That would give Melody one more year with the school and an opportunity to find another teacher. So that is also in the discernment pot at this time.
I do need to decide soon whether to stay at least one more year as she will not pursue keeping the school if I don't stay. It is not a bad idea to have another year to clear out this place, boy do I have a lot of stuff! Where did it all come from? I continue to weed out the extraneous junk but there is still too much.
So that's where I am now. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.
Merry Christmas and have a great 2010!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
On The Road
I can't beieve I'm doing this. We made it to San Francisco. So far perfect weather, perfect roads. Basically kept to the schedule. We will be in SF for 3 days and head North on Monday. Going to take the coast highway (101) to Oregon then a dash across to Eugene to see a friend of Jeneva's, to Portland to see Joey and then home. I will post some pics on my facebook for those of you who are connected with me there. Long day, looking for a good night's sleep.
The first day out I felt awful and thought Maybe I can't do this. My whole body hurt and I was so tired I thought I'd never make it through the day. I had little sleep on Friday night as got up at 3 a.m. Sat to be at the airport by 4:30. Flew to Denver,then a puddle jumper to Fargo, got in the car and drove to De Smet. Since I am in a lot of pain when I sleep in a flat bed I didn't sleep well. Sunday we walked around De Smet and went to all the nearby sites related to Laura Ingalls Wilder and the little House on the Prairie (a passion of Jeneva's). And, as I said, felt really bad, So I broke down and took pain pills to sleep Sunday night and since have felt much better. I don't like taking them but it is the only way I can sleep flat. So I have done the pills all except Tuesday Night. If I am going to get a truck and hit the road long term I will have to fashion a bed for the truck that is in my hospital bed/lounge chair configuration. I really don't like taking the pills! But for this trip it is making it a lot more fun than if I didn't take them so I'm glad I have them.
We went through Badlands National Park, to Mount Rushmore, and to the Crazy Horse monument. After that it was pretty much hit the interstate and drive. Three days in SF is going to be a blast.
see ya later
Lyn
The first day out I felt awful and thought Maybe I can't do this. My whole body hurt and I was so tired I thought I'd never make it through the day. I had little sleep on Friday night as got up at 3 a.m. Sat to be at the airport by 4:30. Flew to Denver,then a puddle jumper to Fargo, got in the car and drove to De Smet. Since I am in a lot of pain when I sleep in a flat bed I didn't sleep well. Sunday we walked around De Smet and went to all the nearby sites related to Laura Ingalls Wilder and the little House on the Prairie (a passion of Jeneva's). And, as I said, felt really bad, So I broke down and took pain pills to sleep Sunday night and since have felt much better. I don't like taking them but it is the only way I can sleep flat. So I have done the pills all except Tuesday Night. If I am going to get a truck and hit the road long term I will have to fashion a bed for the truck that is in my hospital bed/lounge chair configuration. I really don't like taking the pills! But for this trip it is making it a lot more fun than if I didn't take them so I'm glad I have them.
We went through Badlands National Park, to Mount Rushmore, and to the Crazy Horse monument. After that it was pretty much hit the interstate and drive. Three days in SF is going to be a blast.
see ya later
Lyn
Friday, November 6, 2009
Test run
OK. Off and running. Call it a test run. I'm leaving in the early a.m. to fly to Fargo, ND (yes, I know it's November) where Jeneva will meet me with her car and we are driving to San Francisco to visit some friends of hers. Then we will drive to Eugene, OR to visit another friend, then to Portland to visit my daughter Joey and family and then home with a stop in Hood River to visit another of Jeneva's friends (She has a lot of friends). We will certainly find out how well we travel together under somewhat stressful condition. She is moving away from Winnipeg after 11 years and leaving a lot of friends and memories behind. Hard stuff. She will be with me until spring and then will move to Scotland (you read that right). Also, we may have to be creative to get over the Rocky Mountains so let's all believe there will be no blizzards for the next 2 weeks.
So this is a test run for traveling together. Personally, I am beside myself with excitement. I need to move around. I need a break from here. So to quote Jeneva - who is quoting Buzz Lightyear - "to infinity and beyond".
I'll let you know how it goes.
So this is a test run for traveling together. Personally, I am beside myself with excitement. I need to move around. I need a break from here. So to quote Jeneva - who is quoting Buzz Lightyear - "to infinity and beyond".
I'll let you know how it goes.
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